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Coming Apart At the Seams-Depression Kills.

September 6, 2011

Have you ever felt like your life was coming apart at the seams? I have.

Every year millions here in North America will suffer episodes of depression. The fact is 1 in 5 of us will go through at least one episode of depression in our lives.

Many that struggle with the illness, and yes it is an illness, get help and  many that struggle with it do not. Many decide that suicide is the only way out. This week alone I know of 3 suicides all after struggling with the disabling  depression.

I have struggled with the illness myself, so much so that I asked that question Why Me? and even planned my own death.

I was 33 pregnant with my daughter, and going through a very messy divorce. When I had been married I was step mom to 3 amazing kids, I thought we had a good family thing going and then in a heart beat it was gone. Not only was my marriage in ruins but I was also ripped out of these kids lives. I cried for weeks. Sobbed. Wondered why me? It came to a head that Thanksgiving Day 1997. It was Thanksgiving and I saw nothing to be thankful for. I was house sitting for friends who were away for the holiday. I sat there and thought about it all day. I thought my life was over, and I simply wanted an end to the pain, to the sorrow, to the grief.  I thought about how I could do it. How I would do it. I lied on the sofa thinking it through and then I thought of the unborn child I was carrying. I would be committing murder if I killed myself.

As I thought about my unborn child that gave me the courage to do one of the hardest things I have done and that is make a call asking for help. I went to Mental health clinic in the state where I lived at the time. I was offered meds to help regulate my body but because I was pregnant I refused the drugs, but took advantage of the counselling, of the talking. I need that most of all. I have had depressive episodes since as well but none as bad as that day, and I am thankful for that.

For me what keeps the depression at bay is rest, relaxation, time with God, walking and talking.

Depression is an illness and someone you know could be suffering in silence today.

In this rush rush world are we each taking the time to reach out when we know a friend is going through a rough time, and I mean really reaching out?

If you are suffering from depression let me tell you I know what it feels like, I know what coming apart at the seams is. I have been there and let me tell you help is out there. Please reach out for it.

This week is Suicide Prevention week.Let’s be kind to each other, and reach out. If you need help it is there. Here are some resources if you need them:

Canadian Mental Health Association
Mental Health America
Mental Health Europe
Mental Health Australia
World Infant Mental Health
Sheffield African Caribbean Mental Health Association
Asian American Pacific Mental Health Association

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One Comment leave one →
  1. glo permalink
    September 7, 2011 4:54 am

    HOllie.. Im happy your writing about the topic of depression! It usually starts with financial woes……..
    Its a difficult road for people to even think about writing about. Your article was really great!..

    🙂 gloria..

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